天下制覇

BUY NIKES!

New Season Disclaimer:

I prefer to give every show a chance. You never know when your dream-eating insect wielding Mai HiME knockoff will turn out to be a psychological romantic thriller, or the strange moeblob show will be full of wit and urine jokes. However, my preferences are still my preferences, and while I’ll endevor to at least convey why I do or do not like things, there are genres of shows that I just plain don’t particularly enjoy. My opinions are based on nothing more than a gut reaction to what I watched literally 10-15 minutes prior and should be construed as nothing more and nothing less than that.

Impressions:

Allow me to perform a one-act play covering the last 5 minutes of this episode.

Dan: "Oh crap! The boobs are really my long lost childhood friend!"
Dan: "Let me show you REAL basketball by dunking!"
Racer X: "REJECTED!"
Police: "The punishment for destroying a city block and other assorted acts of terrorism is a weekend in the drunk tank."
That Guy: "Look, Dan, your legend has spread and now there are impromptu mecha basketball fights in the streets."

I certainly can’t complain about the production, but it’s a little hard to tell who exactly this is meant for. Nike’s rolling out a brand new line of shoes for this, and have even made sure that their swoosh is emblazoned in the sponsors list. Additionally, the whole "fightin’ the man using basketball and a skateboard" seems tailor made for… how to say… the less discerning among us. At the same time, they take every opportunity to zoom in on Miyuki’s breasts or show a close up of them while she’s running, covering the entire screen in a pair of heaving mountains moving with such force that even Queen’s Blade would be impressed.

I suspect that much of this is meant to be pure cheese, but unlike Basara, there’s enough doubt to make me wonder. Dan is cut out of the exact same mold as other irritating arrogant boy hero ‘greats’ like Black Star without any trace of irony. He’s also completely drowning in bad cliches. Aside from the forgotten childhood friend, there’s also an obligatory cute pet that doubles as Dan’s magical girl transformation mask and garbage disposal, a sick sister, a fat sidekick and even Racer X, the pro Bigfoot Basketball player who works for THE MAN. I’m going to go ahead and assume that he’s Dan’s father or brother… maybe both.

It’s just not my thing. I don’t like basketball, I don’t like mecha, I despise noisy brats who refer to themselves as ore-sama, and I suspect that this is about 99% a marketing ploy to help Nike sell basketball supplies in Japan. Or perhaps promote a new class of basketball-using domestic terrorists that will be extra easy to arrest.

No OP this week.

Preview:

Basketball fightin’.