天下制覇

OBEY!

Impressions:

Sorry Dunkin, Tim Horton’s and Krispy Kreme. You’ve been outclassed. You cannot hope to fight and win against MASTER DONUT. They are the alpha and omega when it comes to… DONUTS. They’re also apparently a magnet for Hayate cameos.

A relatively entertaining episode, even if absolutely nothing happened, though I’m not sure how much of that is because I watched the eminently boring KKN #16 just before this and have a yaoitastic Nabari #17 to look forward to after I finish writing this. It still mostly amused me. I liked how Kaoru has heelys. I see kids with those these days and I want them too. All we had when I was a kid were those annoying sneakers that flashed LEDs when you took a step. Before that, people wore glass shoes with fish in them. Truly the 90s was a dark time for sneaker technology.

The girls go on dates, one girl is the odd one out, cliches result. Not too much surprising aside from MASTER DONUT and the Hayate cameos. I’d mock Kaoru’s plan of controlling the boys (I’ve already forgotten their names… but one was Hige) and making them attack the other two, but it is the sort of thing a ten year old would think of, so I can’t fault her that much. I was chuckling to myself, hoping that Kaoru would run into the other two while out on her date with Minamoto. Any angle they would have gone with that would have been great. "This is our… uh… boss… that we live with. As ten year olds." There’s no way that that could be construed as anything but underaged pimping.

Kaoru gets a love letter at school, but Shiho lets her know that it’s from a female classmate. Kaoru’s got not time or business with such a flat chested, underdeveloped girl, so it’s an automatic DQ. Shiho and Aoi’s lockers are completely overflowing with love letters.

In class, the girls go all girly and talk about love, romance, and dating and such. Meanwhile, the boys spazz out over some trading card. True elementary school antics.

 While walking home after school, the three run into Sporty and Sciency and the chemistry flies, though Kaoru feels a bit left out. BABEL observes the meeting and the Chief declares that his Children must be protected from these horrible men who will no doubt hurt his precious Children. Kaoru meanwhile flashes back to their first meeting. Aoi and Shiho were both playing alone in the room and refused to talk to her. Kaoru then psychic yanked them over to her for a group hug.

The next day, the other two are gone when Kaoru wakes up. Minamoto lets her know that they went out with friends, Shiho to a soccer match and Aoi to the planetarium. Kaoru disappears after scarfing down her breakfast.

Aoi meets Sciency at the planetarium, but Kaoru’s lurking in a trash bin nearby along with Chisato. Kaoru is crazy mad about being abandoned by her friends and is totally fired up. She gets a call from Tohno, who is at the soccer match where Aoi is loudly cheery on Sporty. This is a more immediate crisis, so Kaoru whips out her heelys and uses a TK boost to jet over there.

When she gets there, the game is over, but that just means that Shiho is down on the bench gushing over the way Sporty played and sharing her food with them. Kaoru wanted to eat that food! The two keep flirting while Kaoru fumes. Tohno’s had about enough of this silliness, but Kaoru bribes him with a pair of trading cards to keep following. She gets a call from Chisato saying that the planetarium show has started, so heelys out and back there!

Aoi’s already asleep, so sciency puts his jacket over her. Kaoru MAD! After that, they go to MASTER DONUT, the hot place for any 10 year old to go on a date. Aoi apologizes about falling asleep, yada yada yada.

Chisato excuses herself from doing anymore stalking. Tohno wants to go play. So, another one bites the dust for Kaoru as there’s a sudden barrage of Hayate cameos.

The Chief has had enough. It’s time to deploy the special task for to deal with this.

Minamoto finds Kaoru moping in a building under construction. How? GPS in the limiters. Clever.

To cheer her up, he takes her out for lunch, around the city, and shopping. BABEL-1 flies over them, and when Minamoto tries to call in, he just gets static.

The BABEL forces watch Shiho and Sporty. As he tries to confess, they release a dog at them and then hop out (in drag) to pull it back. That doesn’t deter the moment though, so they’re forced to keep pulling out construction equipment to cover up the conversation. Shiho notices the earpiece that the construction people are wearing though.

Sciency and Aoi are confronted by a gang of punks apparently trying to hit on Aoi. She doesn’t buy it for a moment, but they attempt to chase the two around anyway. Aoi teleport-removes the support from a big sign and blocks their escape.

Back at HQ, all is not going so well. Minamoto arrives back in the middle of the status report and starts chewing out the chief, but Kaoru’s on the chief’s side and TK crushes everybody who opposes and joins the operation.

Back in the park, Shiho and Aoi have met up and are discussing the strange happenings. A BABEL soldier knocks out the two boys and then Kaoru (in a stealth suit) controls them and has them attack Shiho and Aoi thinking that they’ll somehow not realize that the two are being controlled. Shiho figures out where the real attacker is and Aoi teleports Kaoru’s helmet away, revealing her. They demand to know what Kaoru thought she was doing. The rest of the soldiers show up and say that it’s a direct order to interfere. Kaoru tries to hide behind that too, but Shiho reads her and bitches her out for being a petty little brat.

They go to take care of their dates and wait for them to wake up, but the BABEL soldiers roll out the ESPCM and take the two into custody, declaring that the date is over. Shiho’s words start to resonate with Kaoru and she feels awful. Minamoto and the other soldier back at the base manage to get his cellphone out and he releases Kaoru’s limiter. She immediately explodes the ESPCM. Kashiwagi finally gets around to freeing Minamoto and company (what was she doing all this time?) and they bring an end to the chief’s insane plans.

Kaoru begs for forgiveness, and after some berating, the girls have a big hug.

Some future day at school, Aoi and Shiho firmly put Sciency and Sporty in the friend zone. They still seem to be pretty much stunned. The three girls walk together with Shiho and Aoi glomped all over Kaoru. All’s not right in the world though. They’re pissed that Kaoru got to go on a date with Minamoto by herself. Kaoru’s confused for a moment… and then realizes that she did go on a date but totally wasted all her chances.

Preview:

Pissed off Naomi in a catsuit and naked Tanizaki. It’s a fair tradeoff, guv.