I feel like I’ve already seen this episode two or three times before.

Impressions:

Yeah, we’re clearly in time/space filling mode right now and with the main event next week seeming to be them all going to the hot spring while Saito has a gleam in his eye for some mysterious reason, I don’t think it’s going to change next week either. Don’t they still have about half a dozen antagonists running around? What happened to the girl that liked licking Louise? I can’t even remember what she looks like, but I miss what she added to the show, namely licking. Plus, i can’t go through this whole business yet again with Tifa since she’s still lurking around somewhere, plotting to go searching for Saito’s tonsils with her pointy elven tongue.

Anyway, they get into a fight over nobility nonsense, she forces him to sleep on the couch, he finds a magic mirror that leads straight to Henrietta’s bedroom., they decide to make out because neither of them have a single moral between them, Louise runs off in tears, everybody makes up by the end because Louise is a doormat. I consider it a fair question as to why there was apparently no security whatsoever for a mirror leading straight to the queen’s bedroom… and why they think boarding up the room is a good enough solution to this security breach. Why Saito would begin touching some random mirror he found in the first place is also a good question. Maybe he couldn’t stop from touching himself.

Preview:

Everyone takes a bath.

It seems like a more accurate title.

Impressions:

There aren’t words enough for how depressing it is to come from Symphogear to Yet Another Episode of Flame Hazes Sitting in A Circle Talking. You’d think with all these budget-friendly slow pans over inanimate talking clothing accessories (I bet Marco gets teased at reunions because he’s the only one that can’t be worn), they’d be actually using the budget for something else, but no. It even bleeds over into the ED. Stop, JC Staff. Just stop. Less is more. You have surpassed the point where 95% of your show is exposition. It is time to cease this.

And then, to my completely enraptured surprise, they mixed things up slightly in the second half, dumped all the Flame Hazes and instead had Yuuji monologue at the two most important characters in the entire Shana franchise, Yoshida and Eita. Seriously. Without their support, how can his master plan of creating a new world ever hope to succeed? It may just be impossible.

I remember when you use to be about girls on fire fighting monsters that were trying to eat a city, Shana. I remember when you used to be cool. Well, not cool, but at least not being outdone by your lesser harem fantasy knockoff sister. How the times have changed…

Preview:

It looks like Afro Skeleton got caught in the rain.

Everybody’s crazy!

Impressions:

As usual, much of the first half of the episode was pretty much just wasted space (with Engrish to make your head bleed), but the last third more than made up for it. They could probably be doing a much better job with the mundane elements of Hibiki’s life, but I have yet to care a whit about her lesbian cuddlebuddy nor do I have any idea why Tsubasa’s manager continues to… well… exist. Showing that Chris (the Noise girl) is apparently this show’s Fate doesn’t win it any points for creativity, but I guess her face turn is inevitably now. Well, or Hibiki’s ‘heel’ turn since Ryoko was looking distinctly evil as she was watching Hibiki swing Durandal around. Symphogear’s Precia is also apparently a rapist imported from bad pornography, because she wanders around naked and has no eyes. The CG cars this week were pretty funny at least. Some day I’ll learn what it is about Japan when they see the chance to have a vehicle of any manner and immediately go "We can use bad CG that doesn’t mesh with our artstyle at all for this! Let’s make them really really shiny too!"

The last eight minutes or so when they were trying to transport Durandal around were when things got exciting, even if they were using that awful SYM-PHO-NIA! insert song. What do they think they are, Escaflowne? It was actually a relief when Hibiki’s song took over. I just really wish she was a better singer. She obliterated the noise before grabbed Durandal away from Chris and going super berserk with the sword to cleave the heavens. Ryoko does look much much better with her hair down and sans glasses. Not sure where her barrier powers came from, but hey, let’s roll with it. I’d rather a few minor unexplained powers than having to hear her monologue about what she does.

Your cake-handwriting is terrible.

Impressions:

No big surprises really this week, aside from bad directing. Ending with NOT the strip tease dancing probably didn’t help it either. Koneko and Male Sidekick were the only ones who actually had more than a couple frames animated for their attacks and they were just fighting random grunts. Everybody else pretty much stood around and/or glowed with magical demon/angle power, often while just sort of hanging out and either giving speeches to mock Issei or listening to Issei ramble aimlessly about having friends and how the ineffable system of supernatural entities in eternal war was nothing compared to his feelings for a girl he’s known for an afternoon. Luckily, they don’t seem to have anything better to do besides stand around and listen to him anyway.

So basically, it was definitely a step back from last week towards far too much monologuing once again along with particularly embarrassing ‘action’ at the actual climax to the episode, but still better than episodes 1-3. It is a little insulting that they even try to sell Asia’s death that hard too. She’s in the damned OP for god’s sake, not to mention that they ‘killed’ Issei once already. If you strung all the exceedingly long death scenes in this show together, we’d already be at almost a third of an episode dedicated to Issei crying over someone dying. And we’re not even at the halfway point yet, although now that they’ve assembled the main cast, I bet it’s time to futz around at maid cafes or some nonsense. Gotta fill time until the last couple episodes after all.

Preview:

And then, nonsense.

Why, Rise? Why?

Belated edit: 
I didn’t last to the end of KMB. It’s neither funny enough nor can I think of a single amusing thing to actually write about it. Maybe if it aired on a slower day, I’d have a little more patience/forgiveness for it, but I think I’d rather glance over BRS’s otherworld stuff than search for the one or two decent jokes in each KMB episode. Even with more Agiri this week, I still nearly fell asleep multiple times.

Impressions:

This was an… odd episode. Well, the first half I mean. The second half was the typical post-dungeon recap and wrapup. Exciting. Part of Naoto’s Link also bled over into the ED. Nobody cares about you, Naoto. You have your "surprise, there’s a vagina" thing and that’s it. Hama and Mudo are not useful against bosses, or even in most normal encounters. There was also a bit of them all getting flustered over her having ovaries, but I suppose that was unavoidable. Get back on the bench and stop stealing focus.

The first half was much better though. Better than usual even. I think they found some spare change to actually animate a fight for once, although I really didn’t like the remix of the battle theme all that much. It wasn’t a particularly well-done fight, but it wasn’t only 30 seconds long followed by 2.5 minutes of monologue, so that puts it above every other fight except the chain summons against ol’ Fetusboy. On the other hand, the fight was broken up by the bad jokes about the old man beam and Rise’s bizarre lovestruckness (that better be a word) when Yuu was hit with it. It was nice to see Kanji get to be the one to stand up to Naoto’s shadow before Teddy used his deus ex powers to heal everybody so that Yuu could use another Persona he had no business being able to summon yet and finish things as usual… a 30 second explosion followed by 2.5 minutes of monologue.

Preview:

Totally not time to set up something happening to Nanako.

I think they hit all of them.

Impressions:

Ha. They really did it. Well, probably. When deaths are people being consumed by some kind of psychic virus that infects buildings and mechas and then transforms them into sparklies, it’s not really clear if characters have actually died. Of course, it would’ve been a lot more jarring if Hare hadn’t raised every single death flag imaginable. Or if she was a character who actually mattered. "We’ve basically ignored this character for the last two months so… let’s show how she’s come completely into her own, the main character is now responding to her feelings, and everybody is appreciating her… Got your attention? Dead! Bwa ha ha! We are Der Maestro of writing!" Kill off a character who has done more than flash her breasts and nurse Shuu’s angstiness and we’ll talk. She didn’t even rate enough to get a special ED. Or if you’re trying for visceral and brutal, spending a couple minutes slowly dying ain’t the way to get it done.

Still, compared to Guilty Crown’s usual vomit of bizarre plot events, this was just a regular cliched death of Useless Cheerleader Character instead of spiralling off into realms unknown. It’s certainly a step up, even if it’s also a step towards requiring more effort on my part than simply repeating what happened. I could make fun of the car with the craziest turning ever, or how Ayase’s wheelchair is apparently well-rooted enough to allow her to shoot a rocket launcher I guess. Or how the chopper broke off from attacking the people with a rocket launcher to lazily shoot at the two apparently dead kids on the ground, but that’s reaching compared to what the show usually gives me to work with. I can’t wait for Shuu to go back to angsting after a whole 0 minutes away from it either.

ARE YOU SCARED YET!?

Impressions:

Pretty much everything I said for the OVA still applies. The real world was exceptionally banal while the otherworld is limited to about 25% of the actual show. Of that, about half of it is BRS looking at things or walking. They mixed things up by having the introduction at the start have a wildly spinning camera. At least they did a good job meshing the CG with the style of the otherworld, although the animation was hella inconsistent through that whole part in bizarre ways, like during pans. And you know I don’t say hella for much.

On to the other 75% ofThe real world was better than the OVA’s because it at least ha Kagari, the creepy-as-hell girl in the wheelchair who attempted to choke Ms. No-Personality to death with macarons. At least until they trotted out the dolls. Just like Another though, they were trying a bit too hard to be creepy. Delicacy, Japan. You don’t do atmosphere with a 50 pound sledgehammer. At least unless you’re trying to make me laugh at how bad you’re doing it. The completely unvoiced BRS parts with her were far more effective and creepy, even if they have absolutely no real context.

So basically, I think if you liked the OVA, you’ll probably like this too. They made the boring parts of the OVA slightly better, but most of it was still boring and not really well-connected to the actually interesting parts in the otherworld. At the same time though, the fight in the otherworld lasted barely over 60 seconds, and even then, was split. I’ll probably check it out again next week just for the stylish fights, and maybe I’ll start cutting them together in clip only posts like I did for Blood-C, but honestly, I pretty much dozed through about 80% of this episode, only waking up to laugh at Japan once again trotting out dolls to try to create suspense.

That reminds me, P4 really hasn’t made too many cabbage jokes… yet…

Impressions:

The main ‘plot’ this week was hunting down a flasher with the dubious help of Koron (Cologne? Goro~n?, I’m sure it was a reference to some Japanese detective thing, but damned if I know what), who ended up not being the flasher all along, just a little girl that enjoys naked time. At least she got into a nipple-fight with Twenty. Along the way, they tried to be flashers themseves to get into the criminal’s mind and aside from Hercule, only managed to get the "wear a trench coat" part of the whole thing correct. Nero actually had more clothes on after Arsene stripped her, including a backpack.

It had its moments, but a lot of them were drowned out by the girls being particularly shrill and shrieky this week. My lasting impression of the first half was basically them annoyingly chanting for probably a third of it. The feedback loop that the G4bot got into with Kokoro was also a bit numbing on the ears and brain. They seem to be struggling what to do with G4 this season in general. Most of their bits are completely tangential to what’s actually going on instead of actually involved with it and could really be cut entirely. I’d rather they actually bring them in more. It’s almost surprising that they haven’t each had their own episodes, particularly after the OVA was dedicated completely to Kokoro. The same could be said for the thieves too. I’m not sure why they’re half-assing it with these random characters introduced out of nowhere when existing ones could work in similar roles just as well. Twenty would’ve been a perfect forced assistant to catch a flasher. Just think of what they could learn.

Preview:

Train mystery.

Wow. They barely worked the chest at all.

Well, now that the horror of knowing what the Maken-ki DVD specials are all about has passed, all that remains are two mysteries. First off, why was everything getting slowly sucked into Inaho’s vajingo? The camera, okay. That’s a manufacturing defect for every camera made in Japan. They are inevitably pulled towards the labia of all females below the age of 25, no matter what the context. But her swimsuit too? Usually Japanese fabrics simply cling in a skintight fashion over the female body, not slowly get sucked up until they are literally inside of it. You were warned.

The other mystery is how the hell I remembered her name was Inaho.

That’s more like it.

Impressions:

See, Feel? I knew you couldn’t fight your true nature. This episode began with Sora wrapped around Name-Doesn’t-Matter, rubbing her thighs and breasts all over him while Miu watched and Hina talked about having to pee, then tried to kiss him. His immediate reaction to that is to take his shirt off. Oh sure, they tried to put the OP in to distract from that direct sequence of events, but they didn’t fool me. Not too long after that, Hina opened the closet and got buried in dirty unmentionables and they ended up using his underwear to mop up white viscous fluid, which meant they had to cart it around town, asking people to clean up stained men’s underwear. The only thing they missed was Sora taking it aside for a moment to get a good sniff of it.

I guess the other ‘eventful’ thing this week was the brief introduction of Raika, a totally never ever before seen character in this show. I look forward to seeing her again, probably in episode 8 for another two minute cameo. They also tried to make dinner because living off convenience store food is expensive which went about as well as you’d expect. The surprise there was that all of them were completely incompetent instead of having at least one be decent to inspire jealousy in the other. That has to violate some kind of law of anime. Mostly though, I think every instance of them spilling food was an excuse to put the camera at thigh level. They also lost control of the animators once a hamburger was involved. I’m really not quite sure what happened exactly there.

Preview:

Still no Raika.