Hanamaru Kindergarten #01 — Subhuman

January 10th, 2010


Even adjusting for anime standards, those things are about a foot tall.

First Episode Disclaimer:

I’m tired of writing disclaimers.


Given the dearth of shows I’ve liked so far airing on days other than Wednesday and Thursday, I was really hoping that I’d like this, but unfortunately, it seems more focused on trying to be cutesy and touching at every single turn instead of entertaining. Since my heart has long since turned into a cold hard shriveled ball of cynicism, I’ve long since developed a resistance to such nonsense. Besides, it always feels a tad machinated when every five minutes ends with everybody standing in a circle and smiling at each other. The only jokes in the episode are "Anzu says something odd, Tsuchi makes a silly face, everybody laughs." Oh wait, that should be "Shrieks something odd" because the only way to show that the kids are young are for the VAs to raise their voices half an octave and scream into the microphone. Ha ha ha, she just shrieked that she wants to marry him and he got flustered. What a fanbloodytastic joke that I haven’t seen abused in 500 other show already.

Yes, I may in fact be dead inside.

Production was… sufficient, shall we say? They certainly aren’t trying particularly hard, but at least they’re not failing at it. Nothing particularly interesting or surprising on the character front either. All the moeblobs are pretty much there to shriek at the camera in their irritating voices while most of the rest of the story revolves around Tsuchi and his burgeoning harem. He’s about as lame as they come though. It hasn’t been a good season for protagonists. Tsuchi is competing with Hidden God’s Hiro for the most milquetoast though. Tsuchi doesn’t have the excuse that he’s in a town full of monsters trying to eat him… although that would be a good twist for this show if we went in a Children of the Corn direction here.

So… meh. Not my cup of tea at all and I’d be hard pressed to say that anything about the production impressed me either. I’ll admit that next week looks a lot more entertaining in kind of a Muppet Babies way (not that that’s much of a step up), but this episode oscillated between boring me and inflicting pain at me from all the shrill yelling. Neither are major selling points.


Well, that’s different.

Posted in Anime | 15 Comments »

15 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Anon999 says:

    And here’s another loli-in-love-with-an-older-guy show.

  • Jack Damn says:

    So, no contender to “Potemayo”, eh? Turds. Maybe a larger version of “Bottle Fairy”. Too bad. I’ll give it a spin, but it sounds overly bland.

  • Celestial says:

    OMG POTEMAYO 2????

  • Blueblazer says:

    Potemayo *tears*

  • The only thing missing is the refrigerator… and Guchuko.

  • Di Gi Kazune says:

    The lolicon show of the season

  • Chen says:

    Vampire Bund is the loli show of this season. Hanamaru is the so sweet it tastes like diabetes show.

  • Notsu says:

    There’s really nothing loli about Vampire Bund but this show….
    Drool ___

    Want a loli-pop??!
    Sooo soft….

  • PBear says:

    Nothing wrong with lolis!!
    Love them!
    Chibi Lolis!

  • Anise Punter says:

    Thanks to this post, I found myself asking “What is Potemayo?”, as I didn’t recognize the title.

    So I looked it up.

    After watching four episodes on anilinkz, I uh… have not figured out a satisfactory answer.

    I think I’m enjoying it though.

    • Anise Punter says:

      Was enjoying it.

      Then I’m pretty sure Rie Kugimiya showed up and I punched myself in the face.

      Still don’t know if it’s about anything though.

      • Jack Damn says:

        >>Still don’t know if it’s about anything though.

        “Potemayo” is about:

        – poop
        – urine
        – youth
        – suppressed homosexual feelings
        – things without genitals
        – parents who never grow up
        – high school crushes
        – cross-dressing
        – rebirth

        It’s really a great show. Quite possibly the best ever.

  • Dude says:

    Let’s break more minds and hope its an even younger Kodomo no Jikan.

  • zwei says:

    “It hasn’t been a good season for protagonists” I so agree. Where are the cool male leads? This applies to to anime and manga overall.
    “Even adjusting for anime standards, those things are about a foot tall.” Lol is it even human in anime standards? Humans that size are newborn babies in rl.